Jellloooo

I'm not ashamed to say that in the past year and a half, my mother has cooked most of my meals. I mean if you're gonna live at home, I firmly believe in taking advantage of all perks. But now that our time together is winding down to 12 days living under the same roof, you would think she would step things up a bit and make some really spectacular meals for me. Nope, tonight we had jello. Granted there were 2 kinds, and this is the first time in about 6 years I've had jello without alcohol in it, but really? If you're really that sick of cooking for me, just let me know.

Randoms

Hmmm, should I even bother to write parts 2 and 3 on Kim Kardashian's wedding disaster special now that she's filed for divorce? Anyway...

On to other things...

Another day.

A Brief Dissertation on Kim's Unecessary Wedding: Part 1

I'm easily pegged as a reality-tv junkie and I'm ok with that, but one show I watch and hate myself for doing so is Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Mostly because of how they are prime example of people who are famous, who don't deserve to be famous and have too much money and have no sense as to what to do with it.

Whether or not you live under a rock, you've probably seen all the headlines about Kim's wedding as "the wedding of the year" or a "fairytale come true!" I choose to think of it as "what your wedding should not be!" 

First of all, I feel like it should have been called "Kris and Kim's Wedding" because well, it takes two people to get married. And as much as Kim may have dreamed about her wedding, I really think Kris nailed it on the spot when he said, "and you can slide any guy into it" because as Khloe said, "Kim is a romantic who falls in love so often she doesn't know what it is" so Kris was probably the most convenient option for Kim to slide into her wedding vision.

Which bring me to my next point that, Kim is like the last person I would want to marry on Earth and I'm not just saying that because  we're both straight. She seems like an obsessive compulsive, narcissistic person who has lost all sense of reality.

Example: She flipped out because Kris's dogs got in bed with them. Admittedly, I probs would too, but it was because "I don't sit on my comforter so why should your dogs?" Uh, so why do you have a comforter in the first place then?

And then there was the time she flat out said that she was not moving into Kris' apartment he owns in Minnesota because it was below her. Soo you basically just said your future husband was below you? Not that you can't marry out of your class, but shouldn't you not berate that person because of it?

Good luck, Kris Humphries, good luck. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

So basically, if you want your marriage to fail, follow Kim's example.

Who Am I Kidding?

I'm not good at this blogging stuff. I like writing, it's just my thoughts flow faster than my fingers type sometimes. I also don't set enough time aside to blog which is why I have like 20 posts started but not posted. Lame. Anyway, here's what on my mind at the moment:

I have totally jumped on the Amy Winehouse bandwagon. Thought she was crazy when she was alive (I mean kinda cause she was) so I never really got into her music. But then I listened to "Back to Black" and I'm digging it. I'm having issues with this realization because I judged a lot of people who became Michael Jackson fans after his death.

My lab partners really annoy me. They don't do a whole lot of work anything during lab. And then they have the audacity to question if I'm doing something right. Bitch, please don't question me if I'm doing your dirty work. It's all good though because I neglected to remind them as they walked out the door to get signed out by the t.a. You win some, you lose some.

I'm digging this fall weather which is soo soo weird because I have always been a spring/summer kind of gal.... except for the one year when I was like 4 and I really liked winter. I don't know what it is.

I actually really really love pumpkins. I'm probably one of the few people who order the pumpkin bread from Starbucks all year round. It's just so good.

I like really need to move out. A lot of my mom's friends have kids around my age who are living at home and I get the idea that my mom views me as the posh thing to do. I'm like a freaking accessory. And as my mother, Deb should know that I like to steal the show, I'm no stage hand.

Cleveland has some ridic drivers. Like the lady who was too busy to get off her horn so she just blared her horn and blazed her own path. I mean it was pretty ingenious, but a little cray cray.

I could probably go on, but I won't bore you any more. Love you long time.

Decisions Decisions

Oh hey, remember me? So I made my decision on where to move several days before my July 8/9/10th-ish deadline. And then I changed my mind. So after much soul-searching and convos with both elder and peers, I reached another final decision. And I've stuck with it. And.....

I'm moving to the WINDY CITY, BABY!

Moooving!

As far as taking my talents go, I think I have reached a final decision.... I'm just too nervous to announce it yet! Leave your guesses!

Caylee's Law

Please don't read this and then read into what kind of a parent I will be one day, if I ever become one. I don't know how many of you have seen it, but there is a new petition to change some legislation named Caylee's Law. Personally, I don't agree that the statutes under the petition qualify as felonies. For those of you who have not seen the petition yet, here they are:

• Any parent or caregiver that doesn't report a child under the age of six, missing if that child has been missing more then one hour, is guilty of felony child neglect.

• Any parent or caregiver who falsely reports the circumstances of an accident or injury a child under the age of six, is guilty of felony child neglect.

Both of these statutes seem a little extreme to have a felony on your record. Kids wander off now and then and sometimes freak accidents happen that even the kid doesn't want to talk about. I understand a lot of people are aggravated that Casey Anthony was acquitted, but how many children and parents end up in the same position as Casey and Caylee? Clearly not many or people wouldn't be so intrigued by the crime and aggravated and upset about the verdict. Like I said in my last post, just because Casey is not guilty, I don't quite believe she is innocent either.  However, I don't really see how changing these laws will bring justice to Caylee's death... Besides jailing every member of her family because at the time of her disappearance Caylee was living with George and Cindy who notified police of her disappearance 31 days later. Although if all 3 were involved with her death, then I can see how that works. So maybe that's why George and Cindy showed no emotion at the hearing of Casey's verdict because now they know their heads are on the chopping block!

Not guilty, but not innocent either

I'm a crime junkie. It all started with a little trip in August 1995 to San Francisco, California. I fell in love with Alcatraz and begged my parents to take me there. I was 7. We didn't go on account of the fact that the whole prison concept scared my older brother and younger sister. Wimps. And then there was the project my sophomore year of high school in which I presented high profile crimes of the 1930's. There were so many to pick from it was overwhelming. So I went for the most gruesome. And sometimes I go out of my way on trips to Columbus to take route 83 so I can drive by the correctional facility in Mansfield. One time I got so lucky as to follow a bus of prisoners for a short time.

So naturally, I'm practically exploding with excitement that the the Anthony and Anthony trials are going on at the same time. (Anthony Sowell and Casey Anthony -- coincidence they both share the name Anthony? Crazy!)

So here are my thoughts: Were I a member of the Anthony family, I would be devastated that the death of Caylee Anthony has not been solved. However, until Caylee's murderer admits to murder, we'll never know exactly how she died because the fact is "the evidence is that there is no evidence." Though her cause of death is unknown, I do believe she was murdered. I would undoubtedly be beside myself to find a 3 year old who had drowned in my pool, but my gut reaction would not be "guess I should duct tape her mouth and dump her in the woods." Nor is there a plausible explanation for a 3 yr old duct taping her own mouth shut. There are many holes in what happened in the months between June 2008 when Caylee disappeared and December 2008 when her body was found.

• Cindy didn't report Caylee's disappearance until 31 days later. 
• Casey went out and partied in between her daughter's disappearance and her arrest.  
• A utility man gave tips to police about a suspicious object near the Anthony home. No search was conducted, but later tips from the same man led to Caylee's remains. If it were me, I would look to that guilty man for more answers.  
• Casey was arrested 4 times and release before ultimately being indicted with felony murder, child abuse, manslaughter and 4 accounts of giving false information to the police.
• Caylee was found with duct tape over her mouth that was at one point in the possession of Casey's father, George. 
• In the months after Caylee was found, no hard evidence pointed to anyone in her family as her murderer.
• Since being arrested, Casey accused her father of covering up Caylee's accidental drowning in the family pool as well as suffering emotional distress from suffering from sexual abuse from her father and brother.
• Casey's "friends" have all turned up to be imaginary.

Obviously, the family has some issues. I think George and Cindy were well aware that Casey had some psychological issues which they weren't dealing with which may explain why Cindy did not report her granddaughter's disappearance for over a month. Casey's psychological issues would also explain her imaginary friends as well as her justification for partying and going out in the months after her daughter's disappearance. Her issues could also explain why she gave false information to the investigators and her accusations of sexual abuse. Is Casey innocent? Probably not 100%. I think she knows something that she's not saying. And her lawyer which is probably why he decided not to have her testify. I always get a little wary of the defendants who don't testify. Was their solid evidence that Casey did kill Caylee? No. Was there solid evidence that George or Cindy are responsible for Caylee's death? Uh, did you watch any of the closing arguments, the defense was grasping for anything to possibly link Cindy and George to her death. 

But what happens next? So Casey is a free person and then what? I doubt she'll be moving back home. Can you imagine that conversation, "hey Mom and Dad, I know I accused George and Lee of sexually abusing me when I was younger and I also realize you think I'm a murderer, but is it ok if we go back to our living arrangements from 3 years ago?" "Oh sure honey! So happy to have you home, the murder and abuse allegations are all water under the bridge! I baked you a cake as part of you getting off as not guilty in regards to the murder of our grandbaby!" I can bet that won't happen.

So where does she go? I would assume that nearly 98% of the population believes she is guilty. Me, I really don't know because I don't have all the details of the case, but I do feel bad for her. She won't have the easiest time adjusting back to society. Ask anyone readjusting to civilian life whether they're returning from a tour of duty, prison, or even a volunteer opportunity. Ultimately, her daughter is gone for good and she does need psychological counseling. She won't be getting that in prison, that's for sure, but she won't be court mandated to get it either. Is living in the civilian life safe for her either? Only time will tell. Does she have any other options? Probably not at the moment. Let me remind you, she may have been found not guilty, but she wasn't found innocent either.

Music Video of the Year

Stumbled upon this gem this morning. Is this real life? Unfortunately, I don't think these women are mocking themselves, however, I can't wait to recreate these scenes with Demaris, Gina, Dooma and Susan in New Orleans. Louisiana, get ready.

God Bless America!

     When I was younger I wanted to be a carnie. I also wanted to eat an entire bag of double stuff Oreo's by myself one day. Neither dream has come true. I consider this a blessing, but I also suppose this explains my loss of direction in life. Rather than envisioning myself as President, or a teacher, or a doctor, or a swingset like my one friend, I really saw myself sitting in a kitchen that was oddly reminiscent of the one in "Threes Company" throwing back a few rows of Oreo's. My looks were also similar to those of Suzanne Somers character, Chrissy Snow. Go figure. Naturally I never admitted these "goals" to anyone back in the day, but for whatever reason, I have no shame in mentioning them here.

     I suppose what piqued my interest in the carnie lifestyle was good 'ol Bay Days. The fair still exists and when I was younger, it really felt like Disney World to me, but only a 5 minute car drive away. I still get a little giddy when I see the collapsed carnival rides waiting to be set up. Perhaps it's because I catch a glimmer of the life I could have had, living in a trailer with my mullet-headed husband and our 4 dirty kids traveling from city to city running the Scrambler. Or maybe it's because it brings back memories of hours at that place, racing my dad and brother down the huge yellow slide. Probably the former.

                          
*Caption says "nobody says they want to be a carney when they grow up." It should read, "nobody want to admit they want to be a carney when they grow up."
   
     Psych, the best part about Bay Days is that it falls over the 4th of July Weekend. God Bless America. I love the USA, I really do.  I could go into all this gushy stuff about how great of a country the United States are and what freedom means to me, but I think that would ruin the tone of my blog. So whether or not you celebrate the 4th in a big way or small, kick back and enjoy your American brewed beer. It's what our forefathers fought for. Freedom.


                            

#Winning!

Based on my last post (#19), I have more posts in 2011 than my friend Bee. She didn't know I was competing with her, so I guess it's not totally fair that I'm bragging about this on the blogosphere, but a win is a win. Just saying : )

                                                 

Yup, I just disgraced my own blog with Charlie Sheen's face.

I'm Baaack!

Hi Folks,

Sorry for the long absence. My friend, Work, has kept me busy and prevented me from blogging, but I do have millions of random ramblings floating around in my head just waiting to be thrown out into the blogosphere. Just don't know how those professional bloggers do it, guess that's why I'm not one of them! Anyway, here is to hoping that my blog followers have not dwindled down to nothing because I'm in need of help.

After nearly 356 days living in Cleveland, I am done with it. The short story is really just that I am not happy in Cleveland, try as I might. I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things... and... wait for it... places!  'll keep you anxiously awaiting what my new life goals are (insert joke about how I don't know what I'm doing with life) for another post. As I said, I'm ready to move out of Cleveland. Now here's the tricky part, I'm not sure where exactly I want to live. Go figure. But here are my options with my thoughts thrown in the mix. Please read and get back to me about what you think. And feel free to share with your friends, beloveds, or whoever else may know me but doesn't read my blog (tsk, tsk) and get their input too. I'd appreciate it.

And in no particular order:

1. NYC: It's where concrete dreams are made of, need I say more? JK, some of my best friends live in the city and it's full of culture, diversity and numerous schools should I go back for my masters one day. It's also very expensive.

2. Chicago: Like NYC, it's full of culture, diversity and numerous schools should I go back for my masters one day. It's also a tad bit cheaper to live in, slightly cleaner and crisper than NYC, and about 3 hours closer to my family in Cleveland. I also have numerous relatives living in the Windy City and a few friends currently living in or planning to make the move to Chicago.

3. Nashville: Throwing this out there mainly because somebody who will not be named was supposed to be moving to Chicago with me this summer but ended up deciding to go to Nashville to be with her boyfriend (ugh, love. JK, I fully support you and think you are doing the right/smart thing) and told me I should just head south instead of northwest. Nashville is nice, but I'm worried I'll never meet someone because people marry young there. So I should note that NYC/Chicago are full of young people. Also, in case you all didn't know or haven't realized, I'm no Southern Bell.

4. Charleston, SC: Totally random, I know, but I have taken a few online quizzes that are totally not legit nor do I recommend them, but I didn't want to dole out personal info or $$ for the legit ones and this is what I ended up with. From different sources might ! add. Well this and Vegas to be completely honest. The southern lifestyle does intrigue me, but I have no idea what Charleston is all about as far as young professionals, housing, public transportation, diversity, and night life all go.

So yeah, I'm actually being pretty serious about this and NEED your input. So please help. Would love it.

Work work, make you work

We all know I desperately want to go back to undergrad, but since that ain't happening, let's just cut to the chase. Here's how the working world treated me this week:

3 kids wet their pants and 1 kid pooped in his pants. As he said, "he thought it was just a toot, but some poop came with it." He then tried showing me, but I told him to hold on to his pants. Obviously, I meant this literally.

Another child vommed. In case you were wondering what she had for breakfast, it was eggs. Didn't care to know? Well neither did I, but since I wasn't asked, I decided not to ask you either. After this incident, I can never eat eggs. Never really was much of a fan, and this was most definitely the universe telling me to stay away from eggs. I will thank this child for saving my life when mass amounts of people die/get sick from salmonella infected eggs.

Another child had this mysterious rash that seemed to grow and get worse as the week went on. Since I have no first aid skills or medical knowledge, I'm not really sure what it was but I did wash my hand thoroughly after seeing her and applying anti-itch cream. I did wear gloves, but now I have this strange itch... hmmm.. Just kidding! But of course I go through hand sanitizer like it's my job... because basically it is. The amazing part is that my skin is still relatively smooth. I have an awesome immune and dermatological system.

Another child had mass amounts of poison ivy on her. I think she may or may not have exaggerated the need for the dressing, but better safe than sorry.

Another child who may or may not have been mentioned in this post got her finger stuck in her braces in the back of her mouth. Fortunately, she got it unstuck because I was at a total loss for how to handle that one. Except, I did laugh a little, which DID NOT help the situation. This is why my friends tell me I'm unfit to be working with children slash should be outlawed from having kids. I somewhat agree.

And lastly, another child jumped off the top of a slide, shattered her elbow and fractured 2 bones in her wrist. On Monday, so right from the start, I knew it was bound to be a good week.

Oh well, cause you know what? When they be playing my jam "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child I'll throwing my hands up at yeah. Yeah.

Just when you think you're having fun, along comes Debbie Downer

Things I'm tired of:

• I'm tired of being tired. I leave for work by 7:30am and get home at 6:30pm and am usually in bed by 9:30. Which means that I spend those 3 hours working out (if I have the energy), eating, showering and getting ready to do it all again.
• I'm tired of not living in a city with all my friends.
• I'm tired of not having money.
• I'm tired of not having time to blog or update Facebook with photos.
• I'm tired of not having time to tweet.
• I'm tired of crappy, cold Cleveland weather. One thing you will note I am not tired of is alliteration.
• I'm tired of living with my parents. Dug myself into that hole, but just let me vent.
• I'm tired living in a city without sunshine.
• I'm tired of my body deciding to be lactose intolerant when I start to increase my running mileage.
• I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life.
• I'm tired of having to make an effort to stay in contact with my friends.
• I'm tired of answering phones. Random, but true.

Sorry this post his post is depressing in a not serious way. However, if you are looking to lift up your spirits, you will not find it here. I promise one day, there will be a happier post, but not now. I just needed to vent.

Vote for My My My

Hello Faithful Blog Readers,

I'm in need of your help once again. My cousin Nick's fiance Sarah is in a band, My My My, and they have a chance to play at the Billboard Music Awards. My My My has a pretty good shot and are up against 3 other bands in the first round. All you have to do is click here and vote! Easier than pie since you don't have to go through all the trouble of measuring and mixing, baking and waiting before you get a chance to dig in! An added bonus is that you can also register for a chance to actually attend the BMA's (Billboard Music Awards, not to be confused with BOWEL MOVEMENT ALERT!) and hob knob with your other musically talented crushes. Got Bieber Fever? I'm sure actually seeing the Biebs live is a good antidote for that. Another bonus is that if you do vote, you won't have to deal with me going all Jackie Chan and tiger-palming you. If you don't know what a tiger palm is, then get yourself informed. Overall it's a win-win situation.

To get more info on My My My, listen to their songs, or look at their pics, click here . And don't forget to vote!

  Phote straight up copied from MySpace. I hope this is allowed....

Vom

None of these make-overs are even good. If you're going to invest even a little bit of time and money at least create something semi-attractive. It's like someone going through the trouble of losing weight but then wearing old, and not vintage-chic styles. Vom, I say to all you decorators, espesh the woman with the red gingham kitchen. Vom.

Yoga Journal Contest

      I realize I don't have that many followers, but for those of you who do follow my blog, or stumble upon it, I need your help. "Yoga Journal" is having a talent contest to be featured in the magazine as a model. All I need to do is submit a photo of me in my favorite yoga pose. Fortunately, I already have photos so please take a look and vote for which one you think I should submit.

1: Dolphin (shout out to Daphne!) Pose. No Sanskrit name.

Don't mind the rear view.

2. Tree Pose. Sanskrit: Vrksasana

3. Wheel Pose. Sanskrit: Urdhva Dhanurasana

4. Wild Thing Pose.

**disclaimer: this pose is not technically correct since my right leg should be extended. Obviously if this wins, I will retake the picture, but the sandy shores of Lake Erie may have to suffice.

VOTE NOW! THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE FOR ME!! HOLLA!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

On rare occasions between the fighting and the name calling my students really do say some things that throw me for a loop now and then. These are the moments that keep me from pulling out my hair or going on a rage a la Sue Sylvester sane. So with no further ado, the things the little dears say that make my heart swell:

Student A: "I can never do my homework right!"
Student B: "Abraham Lincoln said, 'never say never.'"
Student C: "No, Justin Bieber said 'never say never.'"

Students D&E: "You can call one of us White Alyssa and the other Brown Alyssa."
Me: "Noooo, actually I can't."

Student F: "Is your husband your Valentine?"
Me: "No, I'm not married. Nor do I have a valentine for that matter."
Student F: "Aren't you a little bit old not to be married?"
Me: "Uh, no! I'm only 22!"
Student G: "That is old! You should be in the hospital having a baby right now!" (And then I threw up in my mouth.)

Student H: "There is a big wad of toilet paper in my favorite toilet."
Teacher in office: "Ok, we'll have someone take a look at it in a few minutes."
Five minutes later, student is still in office....
Teacher: "You really need to go back to class now."
Student: "Well aren't you going to fix the toilet? In case you're wondering why it's my favorite, it's because on my first day here I peed in it!"

Student I: "You are big meanie!" (Ok, so this isn't really that cute, but I find it funny. Yeah, I know, I'm weird... as well as mean.)

Me: "What's wrong?"
Student J: "He growled at me!"
Me (talking to Student K): "Why would you growl at him?"
Student K: "Because he smiled at me, and I don't like smiling faces."
Me: "oook, well that's not normal..." (Of course I thought to myself at least they didn't hit one another or call each other names.)

Child in office: "What's your name?"
Me: "My name's Megan."
Child: "What are your kid's names?" (Obviously, the topic of my kids and love life, or lack thereof, is a hot one at the school.)
Me: ::laughter:: "I don't have any."
Other teacher: "Her students are her kids."
Me: "You've got that right! I"m set for life!"
Teacher: "Noo, you'll have kids before you know it." (Another moment in time in which I threw up in my mouth.)

College: 1 Megan: 0

This weekend I had a relapse. I was done living in the Real World and having responsibilities. I had a craving for OSU and nothing was getting in my way. I wasn't even going to let Mother Nature stop me. I called her up a few weeks ago and gave her fair warning of what could happen should she get in my way and believe it or not, she listened. The downside to my relapse is that College and I had a rocky reunion.


Friday night I had maybe 4 drinks. 1 Great Lakes Christmas Ale (I'm trying to keep Christmas with me all through the year), 1 Bud Light out of a glass bottle because even though I wanted to fit into college, I still wanted to keep things classy, and 1 glass of punch for sho and I vaguely recall finishing off another glass of the punch and then my next memory is waking up smashed between the wall and Libby Gaga. Yes, this sounds like I am a terrible light weight, but you must understand that my "doctoring" of the punch may have accounted for at least 4 other people throwing up. I guess it's not a good thing when you can taste the shitty alcohol. I should have learned my lesson from Skittles Night spring quarter freshmen year, but if Sus goes down, we all go down. Much to Deb's disgust, I felt great and bounced off to breakfast the next morning. To be nice, I did acquire the worst hangover for 1 hour later in the day. Fortunately the nectar of a ginger and some advil really saved me. My heros. But like I ever needed those god-send items when I was in undergrad, much less after 4 drinks. Ahh, the misery of someone working in the real world. Life sure does like to keep you humble.

College Life > Real Life

About this time a year ago, my elder cousin advised me to stay in school. He told me graduation was the worst decision I could possibly make. I laughed off the former frat boy's advice as I thought about how ready I was to be done with school and be out in the real world. I mean it was quite miserable having to walk a mile to sit in class not even really having to take notes since I typically printed off slides and every once in a while I had to bullshit some project or paper. And then each weekend I had to socialize 3 nights a week and stay out til the wee hours. What a life that was and how do I miss thee? Turns out, you should listen to your elders. Even if you happen to be one of those people like me who insists upon making her own mistakes and learning from them.

I miss that life and I miss living with and near many people my own age (no awfunse, roomies. Actually take awfunse, since you're annoying the living daylights out of me). I also miss being young and carefree and not having the responsibility of caring for little people. Come back, College Life (this is croaked out like Rose from Titanic as Jack slips into his watery grave).

Weird reason why you love me #1: We all love JAMMIES!

Around here, I don't call 'em pajamas, I call them JAMMIES! If you have no idea what I'm talking about then click here. But anyways, the other day when the world was supposed to end via snowfall, I decided to do the jammie shuffle. So I pulled out my footie jammies even though I have vague memories of me not liking them in my younger years but since I bought them as an impulse buy (adult footie jammies for 10 beans! I couldn't pass that up!) 2 years ago and I haven't really put them to much use I decided to whip them out. I was blindly following the newscasters who were predicting power outages and though I wasn't really catching their drift due to the lack of snow fall outside my windows, I wanted to prepare for the worst. So what better way to snuggle up then in my footies. Plus, mine glow in the dark! I may not be embarrassed over my sleepwear, but don't worry, Ed was for the both of us. So here's how my night went:

It was the worst.

Had my power gone out, I would have been snug as a bug, because those things get hot. And this is coming from someone whose room is like 40 degrees. I was toasting. So in the middle of the night, I stripped down and changed into my normal jammies which consist of.... wait for it..... nothing! Psych, I typically sleep in a t-shirt and sweats so that's what I put on. The next night I decided to give it another go. It wasn't so bad given that I removed several blankets that I typically sleep with, but then I discovered I like having that weight on  me. And the footie part got all twisted around my foot which I very distinctly remember hating when I was little. The jammies aren't really all they are cracked up to be. And while little babies and toddlers slay me in their jammies, 20-some year old adults, just don't pull it off as well.

See what I mean? Although the heel do add a touch of class!

Although should I move to Chicago, or experience another "devastaing" snow storm, or go camping with Sarah Palin, I'll def be bringing the jammies along. So for now they stay.

xoxox, you know you love me!

You know you love me!

In addition to February being Black History Month, it is also the month of love. And I have decided to make all my blog readers fall in love with me. This idea came to me from multiple milk chocolate hearts from Dove with the little ditty "Be Your Own Valentine" written in the wrapper. Many things are wrong with this and I'm not sure who the idiot is who thought it would be a good idea to throw this in a bag of chocolate that could easily find it's way into the hands of a 22 year old college grad living with her parents who has had less than stellar V-day's the past 3 years. But I digress. I thought rather than inflate my ego more than it really is, why not share the love that is me with you! See how nice I am! So for the month of February I'm going to attempt blogging on a regular basis by sharing little tidbits with you all about me that make me for who I am. I was going to attempt blogging every day, but with the possibility of power outages, me working longer days, taking weekend trips, slacking off, this just isn't likely. And no reason to get your spirits up!

So stay tuned for some posts to follow.... you know you love me!

xoxo

In today's news....

Today I had a snow day and didn't even realize that I had the day off until I came near the school and saw zero cars in the parking lot. The whole process of getting ready for work and commuting did only waste like 2 hours, but I did learn a lot of things today:

• News Channel 5 is not as accurate with their school closings as they think.
• Always check the school's website.
• I should probably be on the list of people that the school calls to tell me that school is off.
• My little bean of a car can manage driving through 5 inches of snow.... uphill nonetheless! Momma is so proud of you, Julius Bean! (mind you as I was driving into the school this is when I began to think that maybe we had off school because the roads in Cleveland were terrible. If it wasn't for the fact that I was worried I was going to slide into someone's house, I totally would have thought the experience was fun!)
• Overall: I am a dumbass. 

And then you would probably think that I spent my hours off being productive but no. I went home, put on some sweats and then took a nap. I mean, it WAS starting to rain and I had already pushed JB (my car) to the limits.

The Power of Michael Jackson and Other Things I Shouldn't Mention but Do...

Today I had an interview and miracle of all miracles I landed the job. This isn't really a miracle because 1.) I pretty much knew I had the job. I more or less just had to go in and talk about things, but ignore this and 2.) I have landed jobs before, but I am really bad at interviewing. The last time I interviewed for something I totally was not prepared because the company called me at 8am the day after I submitted my application to tell me that they just emailed me papers and forms that I needed to be able to discuss over my phone interview... which was scheduled for 4pm that day. Great. And this is on top of the fact that in general I am bad at interviews which I won't get into. 

But today felt different.

It was probably because I wore this uber cool jacket from Banana.  I totally fell for it because it just screamed Michael Jackson to me and I love that man. Like for realz, I am not one of those groupies that joined the MJ train after he died. I mean I sobbed during his funeral. It was not normal. But this is about the jacket, I had to have it.






I know you guys are thinking that it's really not that cute, but trust me it looks way better on me  not totally appropriate for an interview, but I already work at the school so I'm familiar with the dress code. Anyway it worked. Espesh since my new boss who interviewed me happened to be wearing a very darling military jacket as well. It was meant to be.

Here's to great things!



Yup, it was a good day.


(also, Jessapher, no worries, you will be in my next post. Although technically this counts as me mentioning you....)

Steve the Sexy

Yeah, I know what all you fools are thinking: Wow posts from Megan 2 days in a row! It is pretty spectacular and so I'm going to try and make you understand why. This morning I received a text from the one and only Sarah M. with the news "Steve the Sexy is engaged" and I want to give a shout out to the little man but where the hell do I begin?

Let's meet Steve: First of all, this Steve in my life must be referred to as Steve the Sexy because that's what he programmed himself in my phone as the night we met. Steve the Sexy and I met the first night I was back at OSU for my sophomore year. We were at a party and got introduced by our friend Natty Light. After a very short, not-so-meaningful conversation we may or may not have made-out for a hot second. And I will never live this down because Steve the Sexy is short with a large head and later Steve told me he had a girlfriend which earned me that nickname "Homewrecker" or "HW" for short. A year later I found out Steve lied about the gf. Which I already knew because I actually saw Steve the Sexy on a regular basis given that he lived with friends of friends of mine and there was never any girl around him. Like ever. But the lie was was totally not necessary because believe me when I say I was not throwing myself at this little man. After a few days (or like 36 hours) of being embarrassed by my actions, my friends and I decided to never let Steve the Sexy forget his self-given name. Let me clarify here: My friends weren't really embarrassed for me, in fact they made sure to never let me live down our little game of tonsil hockey. Anyway, we may have been a little ruthless with calling him Steve the Sexy, but it's not like we called him Steve the not so Sexy.

This may have ticked him off a bit which may be why last year my roommate Kristina ran into Steve the Sexy and rather than your typical "hi, how are you? Great, and you? Good seeing you" convo that you see when you run into person that has fallen out of your life, all Steve the Sexy said was "do not believe a word that Megan says." I still die when I think of this. I mean besides blabbing my mouth here, who have I ever shared this story with? NOBODY! Obviously, Steve the Sexy has a thing with flattering himself... but we won't get into that just yet.

Several weeks after Kristina's run in with him we noticed that Steve the Sexy had defriended us on Facebook. So mature of him. And then I got the news of his engagement this morning. And I died in the "holy smokes I can't believe it, what a strange person he is kind of way." And I immediately texted my sophomore roommates and I got "WHAT!!! HAHAHA's" back which totally means that this engagement shit is wallin. Wallin = slang term from "da hood" of Connecticut. So congrats Steve the Sexy, looks like your sexiness does exude to someone. And to the future Mrs. Steve the Sexy, I assure you I am not after your fiance, Steve the Sexy.

Sincerely,
HW

Me: Hip mom?

Growing up I always thought that couples without children were incomplete and totally weird for not having kids. Which is actually pretty horrendous considering that my parents have several friends without kids and they're pretty rad. When I was little I always envisioned myself as a totally hip mom. You know, driving my girls to dance practice and sons to whatever in my silver Lexus 350 SUV wearing totally fetch outfits in olive hues from J.Crew and keeping all my belonging in my camel-colored Coach handbag. I may not have always known what I wanted to do in life, but I sure knew how I wanted to look! (I have really detailed day dreams...)

And then this all changed.... maybe not my taste for the finer things in life, but to put it frankly my taste for children. In like the last year. Maybe it's because I haven't met that someone who I want to have kids with, maybe it's because I'm suppressing my fear that I'll never meet that someone and am therefore trying to make myself believe that I don't want kids, or maybe because deep down inside I know what my kids will be like. They're going to "cute" only if you have to deal with their demands, I mean antics, for short periods of times (i.e. they're going to be brats). Despite my strict rules and regulations of course. My children will be out of control. And I know this not only because I have this motherly instinct about my children of my distant distant d-i-s-t-a-n-t future, but because people have told me. Not even psychics, but my friends, so far 7 of them have made this comment, and my family. Gee, thanks guys!

So to give you all a preview of my children and to prepare yourselves THIS is going to be my child. Except blonde of course!

Maybe my mother's friends weren't totally weird as my charming 6 year old self thought. Maybe, just maybe they were completely sane not wanting to have to deal with the whining, their kids believing that they are perfect no. matter. what, the talking back, the tattle-tailing, the fighting, and the lies. (These thoughts may or may not have stemmed from working in a school and dealing with children at their worst...)

Coming Up Roses

It started with this:



This image just spoke to me and all of a sudden these creative juices just came gushing out of me. Uh, not really. I just thought it was cool. And the colors are pretty vibrant.

So then I started googling "pictures of." My complete thought was going to be "pictures of things stapled together" (I mean because that was bound to bring up some really artistic photography ::note sarcasm::) but now that google tries to predict what your googling based on the general public's popular searches, I had to stop and laugh because google came up with "pictures of herpes."

Yikes, America. Yikes.

The Resolutions That Didn't Make the Cut

So if you read my last post you probably thought that my 2011 resolutions were pretty lame. They aren't that way because I'm not motivated but really because I already broke the other ones that I set.

Like:
1. Have more patience with my family. This is hard to do when your roommates are senior citizens and you have to yell at them to carry on a normal conversation. I should appreciate this more though because I can have normal convos with my peers in the presence of my roomies and not censor what I'm saying.

2. Read the Bible in it's entirety. I gave in before I even finished Genesis (the first book aka Chapter 1 for you laymen). So I skipped to the last book, Revelations. I read that it's in code for the protection of the people that John (not Gospel John, but another... I think) but it was just too abstract for me. Jesus is still my homeboy though.

3. Eat dessert twice a day. You must be thinking that I'm nuts that I already gave up on this one.  And yes, I'm feeling my normal myself, I just forgot one day. Truth be told, I just made this one up because most people give up sweets, but I wanted to be more unique and set myself apart from the rest of the world. If only I hadn't (adhd moment: have you ever thought of what a weird word 'hadn't' is?) cheated myself so soon like the rest of 'em.

So long, Doodlebugs!

New Year Resolutions

Since everybody's doing it I thought I'd join the bandwagon and make a New Year's Resolution List. However, this year I opted to not be so unrealistic in my goals. I mean 2011 is only 1 year out of my life so it's not as if I have to accomplish everything all at once.

So here they are:

1. I've decided to start smiling normally in pictures. Recently I've developed this weird habit of making weird faces in pictures. And they aren't attractive. So I'm stopping.

 

At least I'm not the only one who needs help.

 um yeah, so there's like 10 more from this night each with a different face. What can I say, I'm talented!?!

 

 Sooo 2010.

2. I'm going to try defying gravity. Totally kidding, I just happen to be listening to "Glee Cast" on Pandora and this song is playing.

3. Cut down on my use of hair tools that fry my hair. Aka I'm trying to cut back on the number of times that I blow dry, straighten or curl my hair. Supposedly my hair will thicken. I guess I'll let you all know the results next year.

4. And last but certainly not least, I would really like to be able to do 3 pull-ups on a pull-up bar. I know that you are all thinking that 3 is an unattainable number and that I must be crazy to want to do that many.... or more realistically you are probably appalled that I am limiting myself to 3. However, if you saw my pathetic attempt at getting my feet off the ground on December 10 (don't ask me why I know the date, I just do), you would all understand that 3 is really setting the bar high so to speak.

So yeah, those are my new years resolutions. If you've got a problem with them, then talk to me in a year when I have mad upper body strength.

Oh and Happy Epiphany too!

                                                         

Sayonara 2010!

It seems that each year I finally get used to dating papers with the correct year, another year is upon me. Before I get into any resolutions I have for my blog, I thought I would share the things I accomplished in 2010.
1. Janurary. OSU won the Rosebowl. Ok, so I didn't really play a part in this, but it was FINALLY nice to see OSU win a bowl game during my time at Ohio State. 



2. February. I helped Buckeyethon raise over $100,000 for Nationwide Children's Hospital. It was $100,823.09 to be exact. Oh and might I add that we only had $50,000 the week before when I posed a $50,000 dollar challenge to reach our goal... and we did it!



3. March. I traveled to Mexico. You might think I'm shallow because I consider *spring break!!!!* to be an accomplishment for me, BUT it was the people who I traveled with that made it a trip to remember. And it was it absolutely beautiful in Cabo. And the food was awesome, but I can't decide if it was the food that made it a great trip or the spectacular happy hours. What can I say, I'm a sucker for bogo** deals!



4. April. Once again, I helped defeat cancer! I couldn't think of anything that notable that happened in April, except for that a bunch of my friends from BuckeyeThon and I spent a Saturday afternoon with hundreds of other OSU students partaking in beverages in a bar crawl in order to support Relay for Life. So by now you're probably thinking I'm an alcoholic....



5. ....so in May I joined AA. Not! May was a pretty good month for me if I do say so myself. I ran my second 1/2 marathon (see! drinking does not consume my life!). After the disastrous GI track issue after the 1/2 I ran in October, it's quite the accomplishment that I put my running shoes on again in the first place!



I then gained international stardom by starring in a little thing called the OSU Flashmob. People are still talking about.

I also won my first race. It was only a 5k and not that many people ran it, and I probably wouldn't have won if the girl in front of my hadn't vommed and I did pee my pants but I won! I may also that this is the morning after I went to Beat the Clock at a bar (basically a happy hour that starts way before 5) and then topped the night off with margs because I got the date of the race confused. Talk about a champ!

I also turned 22 on the 22nd of May. Yeah, beat that.

6. June. I graduated from OSU. With honors. I wish I could say this was the greatest day of my life, but I was kinda miserable. You would be too if you had to sit in 86 degree humidity in a black robe outside for 3 hrs. Oh and the fact that my best friends decided to move back to their home states which average about 12 hrs from where I live kinda made it a depressing day as well.

 Orientation '06  Graduation '10

and then the rest of the year just went downhill!

well, not entirely.

7. July. My best friend, my sister and I formed the Major League Bladers. No, we don't get together and cut ourselves, we blade together. As in rollerblade! Yeah, we're 22 and 20 but don't be hating because we know how to have fun!



8. August. I got a job! It's definitely NOT, I repeat NOT my career, but it's experience and it pays, so I'll take it.

 Good bye Honey Hut! For realz this time.

9. September. Hmm, this month actually kinda sucked because my sister went back to Columbus for her junior year which meant that I resigned myself to the fact that as a college grad I would be living at home for the next year. With my parents. Oh, and my wallet was stolen. And I re-sprained my ankle that I hurt back in January and it just hasn't gone back to normal. So let's just pretend that September didn't happen.

10. October. I celebrated surviving living at home with my parents for one month as the only kid. I celebrated so much so that I took trips away from home every weekend.


Many were back to OSU.

I went to Florida. And dare I gloat I got a few days off work. Yippee!

And probably the best was that I went to visit my best friend in NYC the weekend of Halloween. It was rowdy all right.

 I mean, seriously, what else would you expect from Ke$ha and a gypsy?

11. In November, I didn't really accomplish much either. I did make a bet with someone the night before  THANKSgiving that I would beat him in the Cleveland Turkey Trot and I did (by like 10 minutes, but who's counting?), so I guess that counts right? I mean I either had some of those gypsy powers rub off me from Halloween, or I just kicked it into gear. I'll go with former.

12. Ah, December. In December I finally decided what I want to do with my life. I know you're probs thinking I should have figured this out a long time ago, but while I do sometimes sit and ponder the mundane, I don't think about Real Life all that much. I probably should though, but let's not worry about what I didn't accomplish in the past and focus on the present. I'll give you a few hints:

it has to do with this city:


her:


and me going back to school!

I decided to go back to school for social work in one of the greatest cities this side of the Atlantic Ocean and I committed to moving there with my best friend. And by committed I mean we made a promise, but that's still legit!

That about sums up my major accomplishments for the year of 2010, so let's have a round of applause!



And why you may think that some of them did not add up to much, that is your loss because I can only see myself going onward and upward from this point! Amen. And Happy New Year!

**for those of you not down with retail lingo, bogo stands for buy one, get one as in buy one, get one free. Yeah, it took me a few months actually working in retail to figure that one out!