Steve the Sexy

Yeah, I know what all you fools are thinking: Wow posts from Megan 2 days in a row! It is pretty spectacular and so I'm going to try and make you understand why. This morning I received a text from the one and only Sarah M. with the news "Steve the Sexy is engaged" and I want to give a shout out to the little man but where the hell do I begin?

Let's meet Steve: First of all, this Steve in my life must be referred to as Steve the Sexy because that's what he programmed himself in my phone as the night we met. Steve the Sexy and I met the first night I was back at OSU for my sophomore year. We were at a party and got introduced by our friend Natty Light. After a very short, not-so-meaningful conversation we may or may not have made-out for a hot second. And I will never live this down because Steve the Sexy is short with a large head and later Steve told me he had a girlfriend which earned me that nickname "Homewrecker" or "HW" for short. A year later I found out Steve lied about the gf. Which I already knew because I actually saw Steve the Sexy on a regular basis given that he lived with friends of friends of mine and there was never any girl around him. Like ever. But the lie was was totally not necessary because believe me when I say I was not throwing myself at this little man. After a few days (or like 36 hours) of being embarrassed by my actions, my friends and I decided to never let Steve the Sexy forget his self-given name. Let me clarify here: My friends weren't really embarrassed for me, in fact they made sure to never let me live down our little game of tonsil hockey. Anyway, we may have been a little ruthless with calling him Steve the Sexy, but it's not like we called him Steve the not so Sexy.

This may have ticked him off a bit which may be why last year my roommate Kristina ran into Steve the Sexy and rather than your typical "hi, how are you? Great, and you? Good seeing you" convo that you see when you run into person that has fallen out of your life, all Steve the Sexy said was "do not believe a word that Megan says." I still die when I think of this. I mean besides blabbing my mouth here, who have I ever shared this story with? NOBODY! Obviously, Steve the Sexy has a thing with flattering himself... but we won't get into that just yet.

Several weeks after Kristina's run in with him we noticed that Steve the Sexy had defriended us on Facebook. So mature of him. And then I got the news of his engagement this morning. And I died in the "holy smokes I can't believe it, what a strange person he is kind of way." And I immediately texted my sophomore roommates and I got "WHAT!!! HAHAHA's" back which totally means that this engagement shit is wallin. Wallin = slang term from "da hood" of Connecticut. So congrats Steve the Sexy, looks like your sexiness does exude to someone. And to the future Mrs. Steve the Sexy, I assure you I am not after your fiance, Steve the Sexy.

Sincerely,
HW