Say what?

Today one of my precocios students asked if I have ever blacked out? Obviously, I then delved into personal details about my life and how I absolutely love partaking in beverages and how totally insane it would be if I ever had NOT blacked out. Ya dig?

So that obviously didn't happen, but I was not about to put it past this 9 year old kid that he knew what the term black out meant. Though how or why he was asking me about black outs blew my mind. I mean, I didn't know what the term meant until I was 19 or so. I told him no, but that if by black out he means being knocked unconscious or passing out, then I have never blacked out. I didn't really tread on the other type of black out.... anyhowsers no sooner had these words left my lips when he responds with "Oh, really? I've blacked out before! It happened today in gym!" Obviously, those juice boxes got the better of him.

Acculturating my roommates

God bless my current roommates, but they have their moments when I seriously wonder what era they grew up in! I've taken it upon myself to make the current roomies more hip and "with it." Here's how tonight's convo at dinner went:

Deb: Your sister has quite the walk back from Mirror Lake this year.
Me: Yeah, and I though walking 1/2 a mile in freezing tempuratures back to my place after jumping in a lake was hard to do.
Deb: I hope she brings a blanket or something to keep her warm on the way home.
Me: Oh I'm sure, she'll have her beer blanket with her.
Deb: What's that? Is it a blanket because drinking the beer makes you warm, or does somebody pour beer on her?
Ed: (spits out his milk because of laughter)
Deb: Ohhhh.... I take it it's from drinking the beer.

As you can imagine, it's quite the undertaking I have for the next year.

Whorey Potter is Not for Midnight Premieres

Last night, I took my old and weathered body to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. Ok, really wasn't terrible, but I did feel a tad old at the premiere even though the majority of the population present were high schoolers which sadly I am still mistaken for all the time. And really why should I feel old, because Harry has been around for half my life! I guess I'm just not used to venturing out at 11pm on weekdays like back in my college days. Anyway, there we were, my friend Sarah and I, dressed in sweats settling down in our second to the last row seats when we noticed the first fatality of the night: Whorey Potters. Teenage girls wearing booty shorts and tight button up blouses that well were, um not buttoned all the way. I mean whore-ish outfits have a time and place: Halloween. Not the premiere of a Harry movie. Dress up by all means (I would have if Bethany was present...) but no need to fashion after B.Spears in "Hit me baby one more time."

Then there was the the second fatality. Some young and probably unwed mother brought her infant to the movie. It's really not totally mind-blowing to think that there are die-hard Potter fans who are now introducing their own kids to the magical world of Harry. Like I said, Harry has been around for half my life and believe me, I know plenty of people my age who are married and have kids. I guess I'm just a late bloomer. So I get that your young and unwed and it's a little bit weird to call a babysitter and ask them to watch your child from the hours of 11-midnight without them getting the idea that you're working the streets, but do you really have to attend the midnight premiere in that case? Amazingly, the babe did fall asleep.... as did I. I mean, really, who are we kidding?

And then the 3rd fatality was Hedwig. Although maybe she deserved to die for trying to protect Harry but ultimately gave him away. However in that case, you could argue that Hedwig's love saved Harry from Voldemort for the upteenth time when he was trying to get away to The Burrow and not Lucius Malfoy's malfunctioning wand.

And the final fatality happened to be Dobby. Truthfully when I read the book, I did get a little sad. I mean  J.K. Rowling kinda went on a killing streak of supportive characters in the final book. However, that is not to say that it was a little pathetic that the girl in front of my had to take off her glasses and defog them she was crying so hard. Needless to say, Sarah and I turned to each other and laughed and then Voldemort found the Elder Wand.

Kids Say the Darndest Things Part II

I run an after school care program at a school for gifted children. While I do have conversations with some kids that are completely over my head (give me some credit the kid is 10 and in 7th grade...) most of these conversations are pretty normal, or if anything made me shake my head and ask myself, "aren't you gifted?"

Me (talking to a kindergartner): "Can you read?"
Child: "I don't know, but I can spell cat!"

Child: "Is it raining for snowing outside?"
Me: "You tell me, is that rain or snow?" ok not what I said... I told him it was rain.
Child: "It was hard for me to tell because the precipitaion looks to be falling slower than rain." also, this explanation went on for about 10 minutes, most of which I tuned out.....

Child: "You can't use reverse psychology on me!"

Child: "yes, I am at Edison Club late night edition!"

1st grader: "It is now 4 o'clock. On the first day of school at 4, I was on I-90 crossing Columbia. So if we went back to the first day of school, I would be in the car with my mom."
Me: "I am impressed you know all those details given that it's November."

Me (talking to first graders): "I know that you guys are really good friends, but it's not appropriate to be kissing and touching one another."
Child: "You can't stop young love!"

Child: "Today the President is being voted out of office."
Me: "Noo he's not. It's not that easy."

Child: "Yeah the world's going to end within the next 10 years so I'm building a rocket with my friends to save me."

Same child as above: "Yes, the rumors are true, I DO have a girlfriend."
Me: "So what do you guys do? Play in the sandbox together?"

Me talking to a 2nd grader: "K----, what's wrong?"
K: "I'm upset that J--- is playing with those girls over there and not just me!"
Me: "Well don't you think 8 years old is a little young to be exclusive?"

And without a doubt there will be more to come! Peace out homeskillets.