The Power of Michael Jackson and Other Things I Shouldn't Mention but Do...

Today I had an interview and miracle of all miracles I landed the job. This isn't really a miracle because 1.) I pretty much knew I had the job. I more or less just had to go in and talk about things, but ignore this and 2.) I have landed jobs before, but I am really bad at interviewing. The last time I interviewed for something I totally was not prepared because the company called me at 8am the day after I submitted my application to tell me that they just emailed me papers and forms that I needed to be able to discuss over my phone interview... which was scheduled for 4pm that day. Great. And this is on top of the fact that in general I am bad at interviews which I won't get into. 

But today felt different.

It was probably because I wore this uber cool jacket from Banana.  I totally fell for it because it just screamed Michael Jackson to me and I love that man. Like for realz, I am not one of those groupies that joined the MJ train after he died. I mean I sobbed during his funeral. It was not normal. But this is about the jacket, I had to have it.






I know you guys are thinking that it's really not that cute, but trust me it looks way better on me  not totally appropriate for an interview, but I already work at the school so I'm familiar with the dress code. Anyway it worked. Espesh since my new boss who interviewed me happened to be wearing a very darling military jacket as well. It was meant to be.

Here's to great things!



Yup, it was a good day.


(also, Jessapher, no worries, you will be in my next post. Although technically this counts as me mentioning you....)

Steve the Sexy

Yeah, I know what all you fools are thinking: Wow posts from Megan 2 days in a row! It is pretty spectacular and so I'm going to try and make you understand why. This morning I received a text from the one and only Sarah M. with the news "Steve the Sexy is engaged" and I want to give a shout out to the little man but where the hell do I begin?

Let's meet Steve: First of all, this Steve in my life must be referred to as Steve the Sexy because that's what he programmed himself in my phone as the night we met. Steve the Sexy and I met the first night I was back at OSU for my sophomore year. We were at a party and got introduced by our friend Natty Light. After a very short, not-so-meaningful conversation we may or may not have made-out for a hot second. And I will never live this down because Steve the Sexy is short with a large head and later Steve told me he had a girlfriend which earned me that nickname "Homewrecker" or "HW" for short. A year later I found out Steve lied about the gf. Which I already knew because I actually saw Steve the Sexy on a regular basis given that he lived with friends of friends of mine and there was never any girl around him. Like ever. But the lie was was totally not necessary because believe me when I say I was not throwing myself at this little man. After a few days (or like 36 hours) of being embarrassed by my actions, my friends and I decided to never let Steve the Sexy forget his self-given name. Let me clarify here: My friends weren't really embarrassed for me, in fact they made sure to never let me live down our little game of tonsil hockey. Anyway, we may have been a little ruthless with calling him Steve the Sexy, but it's not like we called him Steve the not so Sexy.

This may have ticked him off a bit which may be why last year my roommate Kristina ran into Steve the Sexy and rather than your typical "hi, how are you? Great, and you? Good seeing you" convo that you see when you run into person that has fallen out of your life, all Steve the Sexy said was "do not believe a word that Megan says." I still die when I think of this. I mean besides blabbing my mouth here, who have I ever shared this story with? NOBODY! Obviously, Steve the Sexy has a thing with flattering himself... but we won't get into that just yet.

Several weeks after Kristina's run in with him we noticed that Steve the Sexy had defriended us on Facebook. So mature of him. And then I got the news of his engagement this morning. And I died in the "holy smokes I can't believe it, what a strange person he is kind of way." And I immediately texted my sophomore roommates and I got "WHAT!!! HAHAHA's" back which totally means that this engagement shit is wallin. Wallin = slang term from "da hood" of Connecticut. So congrats Steve the Sexy, looks like your sexiness does exude to someone. And to the future Mrs. Steve the Sexy, I assure you I am not after your fiance, Steve the Sexy.

Sincerely,
HW

Me: Hip mom?

Growing up I always thought that couples without children were incomplete and totally weird for not having kids. Which is actually pretty horrendous considering that my parents have several friends without kids and they're pretty rad. When I was little I always envisioned myself as a totally hip mom. You know, driving my girls to dance practice and sons to whatever in my silver Lexus 350 SUV wearing totally fetch outfits in olive hues from J.Crew and keeping all my belonging in my camel-colored Coach handbag. I may not have always known what I wanted to do in life, but I sure knew how I wanted to look! (I have really detailed day dreams...)

And then this all changed.... maybe not my taste for the finer things in life, but to put it frankly my taste for children. In like the last year. Maybe it's because I haven't met that someone who I want to have kids with, maybe it's because I'm suppressing my fear that I'll never meet that someone and am therefore trying to make myself believe that I don't want kids, or maybe because deep down inside I know what my kids will be like. They're going to "cute" only if you have to deal with their demands, I mean antics, for short periods of times (i.e. they're going to be brats). Despite my strict rules and regulations of course. My children will be out of control. And I know this not only because I have this motherly instinct about my children of my distant distant d-i-s-t-a-n-t future, but because people have told me. Not even psychics, but my friends, so far 7 of them have made this comment, and my family. Gee, thanks guys!

So to give you all a preview of my children and to prepare yourselves THIS is going to be my child. Except blonde of course!

Maybe my mother's friends weren't totally weird as my charming 6 year old self thought. Maybe, just maybe they were completely sane not wanting to have to deal with the whining, their kids believing that they are perfect no. matter. what, the talking back, the tattle-tailing, the fighting, and the lies. (These thoughts may or may not have stemmed from working in a school and dealing with children at their worst...)

Coming Up Roses

It started with this:



This image just spoke to me and all of a sudden these creative juices just came gushing out of me. Uh, not really. I just thought it was cool. And the colors are pretty vibrant.

So then I started googling "pictures of." My complete thought was going to be "pictures of things stapled together" (I mean because that was bound to bring up some really artistic photography ::note sarcasm::) but now that google tries to predict what your googling based on the general public's popular searches, I had to stop and laugh because google came up with "pictures of herpes."

Yikes, America. Yikes.

The Resolutions That Didn't Make the Cut

So if you read my last post you probably thought that my 2011 resolutions were pretty lame. They aren't that way because I'm not motivated but really because I already broke the other ones that I set.

Like:
1. Have more patience with my family. This is hard to do when your roommates are senior citizens and you have to yell at them to carry on a normal conversation. I should appreciate this more though because I can have normal convos with my peers in the presence of my roomies and not censor what I'm saying.

2. Read the Bible in it's entirety. I gave in before I even finished Genesis (the first book aka Chapter 1 for you laymen). So I skipped to the last book, Revelations. I read that it's in code for the protection of the people that John (not Gospel John, but another... I think) but it was just too abstract for me. Jesus is still my homeboy though.

3. Eat dessert twice a day. You must be thinking that I'm nuts that I already gave up on this one.  And yes, I'm feeling my normal myself, I just forgot one day. Truth be told, I just made this one up because most people give up sweets, but I wanted to be more unique and set myself apart from the rest of the world. If only I hadn't (adhd moment: have you ever thought of what a weird word 'hadn't' is?) cheated myself so soon like the rest of 'em.

So long, Doodlebugs!

New Year Resolutions

Since everybody's doing it I thought I'd join the bandwagon and make a New Year's Resolution List. However, this year I opted to not be so unrealistic in my goals. I mean 2011 is only 1 year out of my life so it's not as if I have to accomplish everything all at once.

So here they are:

1. I've decided to start smiling normally in pictures. Recently I've developed this weird habit of making weird faces in pictures. And they aren't attractive. So I'm stopping.

 

At least I'm not the only one who needs help.

 um yeah, so there's like 10 more from this night each with a different face. What can I say, I'm talented!?!

 

 Sooo 2010.

2. I'm going to try defying gravity. Totally kidding, I just happen to be listening to "Glee Cast" on Pandora and this song is playing.

3. Cut down on my use of hair tools that fry my hair. Aka I'm trying to cut back on the number of times that I blow dry, straighten or curl my hair. Supposedly my hair will thicken. I guess I'll let you all know the results next year.

4. And last but certainly not least, I would really like to be able to do 3 pull-ups on a pull-up bar. I know that you are all thinking that 3 is an unattainable number and that I must be crazy to want to do that many.... or more realistically you are probably appalled that I am limiting myself to 3. However, if you saw my pathetic attempt at getting my feet off the ground on December 10 (don't ask me why I know the date, I just do), you would all understand that 3 is really setting the bar high so to speak.

So yeah, those are my new years resolutions. If you've got a problem with them, then talk to me in a year when I have mad upper body strength.

Oh and Happy Epiphany too!

                                                         

Sayonara 2010!

It seems that each year I finally get used to dating papers with the correct year, another year is upon me. Before I get into any resolutions I have for my blog, I thought I would share the things I accomplished in 2010.
1. Janurary. OSU won the Rosebowl. Ok, so I didn't really play a part in this, but it was FINALLY nice to see OSU win a bowl game during my time at Ohio State. 



2. February. I helped Buckeyethon raise over $100,000 for Nationwide Children's Hospital. It was $100,823.09 to be exact. Oh and might I add that we only had $50,000 the week before when I posed a $50,000 dollar challenge to reach our goal... and we did it!



3. March. I traveled to Mexico. You might think I'm shallow because I consider *spring break!!!!* to be an accomplishment for me, BUT it was the people who I traveled with that made it a trip to remember. And it was it absolutely beautiful in Cabo. And the food was awesome, but I can't decide if it was the food that made it a great trip or the spectacular happy hours. What can I say, I'm a sucker for bogo** deals!



4. April. Once again, I helped defeat cancer! I couldn't think of anything that notable that happened in April, except for that a bunch of my friends from BuckeyeThon and I spent a Saturday afternoon with hundreds of other OSU students partaking in beverages in a bar crawl in order to support Relay for Life. So by now you're probably thinking I'm an alcoholic....



5. ....so in May I joined AA. Not! May was a pretty good month for me if I do say so myself. I ran my second 1/2 marathon (see! drinking does not consume my life!). After the disastrous GI track issue after the 1/2 I ran in October, it's quite the accomplishment that I put my running shoes on again in the first place!



I then gained international stardom by starring in a little thing called the OSU Flashmob. People are still talking about.

I also won my first race. It was only a 5k and not that many people ran it, and I probably wouldn't have won if the girl in front of my hadn't vommed and I did pee my pants but I won! I may also that this is the morning after I went to Beat the Clock at a bar (basically a happy hour that starts way before 5) and then topped the night off with margs because I got the date of the race confused. Talk about a champ!

I also turned 22 on the 22nd of May. Yeah, beat that.

6. June. I graduated from OSU. With honors. I wish I could say this was the greatest day of my life, but I was kinda miserable. You would be too if you had to sit in 86 degree humidity in a black robe outside for 3 hrs. Oh and the fact that my best friends decided to move back to their home states which average about 12 hrs from where I live kinda made it a depressing day as well.

 Orientation '06  Graduation '10

and then the rest of the year just went downhill!

well, not entirely.

7. July. My best friend, my sister and I formed the Major League Bladers. No, we don't get together and cut ourselves, we blade together. As in rollerblade! Yeah, we're 22 and 20 but don't be hating because we know how to have fun!



8. August. I got a job! It's definitely NOT, I repeat NOT my career, but it's experience and it pays, so I'll take it.

 Good bye Honey Hut! For realz this time.

9. September. Hmm, this month actually kinda sucked because my sister went back to Columbus for her junior year which meant that I resigned myself to the fact that as a college grad I would be living at home for the next year. With my parents. Oh, and my wallet was stolen. And I re-sprained my ankle that I hurt back in January and it just hasn't gone back to normal. So let's just pretend that September didn't happen.

10. October. I celebrated surviving living at home with my parents for one month as the only kid. I celebrated so much so that I took trips away from home every weekend.


Many were back to OSU.

I went to Florida. And dare I gloat I got a few days off work. Yippee!

And probably the best was that I went to visit my best friend in NYC the weekend of Halloween. It was rowdy all right.

 I mean, seriously, what else would you expect from Ke$ha and a gypsy?

11. In November, I didn't really accomplish much either. I did make a bet with someone the night before  THANKSgiving that I would beat him in the Cleveland Turkey Trot and I did (by like 10 minutes, but who's counting?), so I guess that counts right? I mean I either had some of those gypsy powers rub off me from Halloween, or I just kicked it into gear. I'll go with former.

12. Ah, December. In December I finally decided what I want to do with my life. I know you're probs thinking I should have figured this out a long time ago, but while I do sometimes sit and ponder the mundane, I don't think about Real Life all that much. I probably should though, but let's not worry about what I didn't accomplish in the past and focus on the present. I'll give you a few hints:

it has to do with this city:


her:


and me going back to school!

I decided to go back to school for social work in one of the greatest cities this side of the Atlantic Ocean and I committed to moving there with my best friend. And by committed I mean we made a promise, but that's still legit!

That about sums up my major accomplishments for the year of 2010, so let's have a round of applause!



And why you may think that some of them did not add up to much, that is your loss because I can only see myself going onward and upward from this point! Amen. And Happy New Year!

**for those of you not down with retail lingo, bogo stands for buy one, get one as in buy one, get one free. Yeah, it took me a few months actually working in retail to figure that one out!