A few of my favorite things

Actually, one of the many things I strongly dislike are commercials. I will admit that I watch way too much tv, and most of it is trash, but I feel that I need to keep up with my celebrities. I am no where near the level of Perez Hilton, but I do admit that it would be a dream job to blog about celebrities and actually be famous because of that. (Dear Perez, SHOULD you happen to come across my blog, do you need an intern or assistant? I'll be greedy and let you know this upfront: I won't be doing the work for free, but really any salary would be appreciated. Shift-comma-3 Megan).

Back to the topic, which I never actually got into yet before I went off on a kajillion tangents. The thing I hate most about tv is the amount of commercials. Since when is it ever acceptable for a person to have to flip to their 8th station of choice to actually find anything BUT a commercial on tv. Thanks heavens for DVR because these days I just don't know how I would survive, but I do have a few commercials that are faves of mine:

1.) ipad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpo__xhTSv8

I just love the music. Unfortunately, this snipppet does not show the person playing about the piano notes on the ipad, but one day I am going to sit down at my piano and learn that song. I play close attention to this commercial, and I know which notes to play, so I don't think it will be too hard.

2.) Reebok Easy Tone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9ZaAkYEES8

also love the music (song: Mickey Smid "Shake It Up"). I just think it's such a catchy little tune. I also think in real life I would get along with the characters of the commercial because I LOVE having dance parties by myself in the middle of the day no matter if I'm on the beach, at work, on the phone with my friends! I just love to dance!

And... just so you all know here is the commercial I hate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqwnyVRWRd4

It's just so stupid. Dropping your shoes is not at all dependent on how fast it takes an app to download on your phone. Also, you should note that the dance directors are right in front of the girl without the iphone when she drops her shoes, so I think they could have easily taken note of her dropping something. Also, it would probably be more likely that the girl without the iphone WOULD land the spot after her audtion because she auditioned at a less prestigious company. Ballet technique is not at all dependent on how fast it takes an app to download on your phone. Also, I can sympathize with the woman in the audience wishing SHE was the dancer on stage. The dance world is a very hard world to break into, it takes years of training, and natural talent, and every dancer wishes she could be principal. So really this commercial is just plain stupid because few can relate to the main character and really none of that shit that happened is dependent on how fast it take an app to download on your phone.

So merry christmas and sorry if you're confused by my ramblings, but hey the blog ain't called Real Life Ramblings for nothing!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

     I've taken baby steps and have landed me a job that is somewhat respectable to hold after college. Long story short is that I'm running an after school care program at a school for gifted children, however since everyone likes to inflate their ego once in a while I think of it more as an after school enrichment program. Sideways smiley faces. Working with gifted children is not exactly a heavenly helping of Sprinkles Red Velvet Cupcakes. These kids are bonkers, God love 'em. Didn't know that you can use the underside of a table as a jungle gym? Welp, you can. Didn't know that a hoola hoop can be used as a whip? Also possible. Straight from the mouths of these gifted children:

"I was born with powers."
"Oh really, what kind of powers?"
"I don't know yet, I'm going to start practicing them soon?
"Well, I hope you have good powers, not bad ones."
"Me too!"

"My ribs are broken."

"I'm having trouble breathing."
"Do you have asthma?"
"No, I think I have a collapsed lung."

"I need another cupcake, mine fell apart."
(I look and see crumbled cupcake all over child's hands and table setting.)

"My finger is gushing blood!"
"Ok I need to see it.... looks fine to me."
"Then it's broken! I need and ambulence."

"I just ran over my fingers and I think they are really hurt."
"If you can bend them, then you will be ok."
"I'm starting to panic!"

"I just hit my elbow and I think it's bleeding." (child pushes up sleeve.)
"I can't see anything, I promise you're ok."
(child pinches skin) "Well, I think it's going to start bleeding soon."
"Not if you stop pinching yourself."

"I'm dying."
"Now what makes you say that?"
"Because I am."

"What kind of dog do you have?"
"An eagle."
"Do you mean a beagle?"
"Oh, yeah! I have a beagle!"

And some of my favorites:
"I know how to hang someone without killing them."
:: speechless ::
"I just threatened to break my friend's arm."

"---- just bit me!"
"Why did you just bite your best friend?"
"Because she tastes good!"

Here's volume 1 after 1 month of working with these kids. Stick around for more later!

Clearly, I'm just a cold-hearted b*tch!

Today, my mother had the audacity to tell me that I am neither tender-hearted nor sensitive like my sister. And maybe the fact that I took the tiniest bit of pride in this statement does show that she speaks the truth, but it sure takes a cold-hearted insensitive person to know this! I'm just resilient! Reason she told me: today my sister called in hysterics because SHE erroneously parked in a handicap spot in the streets and SHE receieved a whopping $500 ticket. $500 is a bit steep when most other handicap spots are only $250 but anyone who has gone to OSU knows that Columbus loves preying off poor college students and the easiest way to do that is to slap an orange ticket on someone's windshield. I did feel the tiniest bit of compassion for my sister because no one wants to throw down $500 for a mistake that could have easily been prevented, but as the old saying goes, shit happens. Unfortunately for my sister, this compassion slipped away the 10th time my mother brought the subject up in 30 minutes and uttered such phrases as "the poor child" (um, she's 20!) or "she doesn't deserve this" (tell that to the handicap person who needed that spot). After the 3rd time my mother spoke to my father about the subject I was ready to gag. As my father delved into the details of what he told my sister to calm her down ("it happens to all of us... at least you aren't injured... etc") I quickly cut him off. I just couldn't handle the sappiness anymore. Not to mention, that I had to remind my mother I was the poor innocent victim of a ROBBERY not even 2 weeks ago! My credit card, my bank card, my health insurance, all my cash just GONE! For gosh sakes, I can't even go to the bank! And then my mother, bless her heart, uttered those words "well, you just handle things differently than your sister. You're not as tender-hearted or sensitve as she is."


I mean, it's not as if I didn't raise $100,000 for kids with cancer my senior year of college, I didn't give one of my students and her mother a ride home after work yesterday because their car broke down, and I didn't volunteer at a place for the terminally ill with no money. Just call me cold-hearted and ruthless.

Take me "Home"

If you kow me, my taste in music is eclectic. I listen to a little alternative, a little R&B, a little pop (ok a lot, but I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE Justin Timberlake and Michael Jackson), aaand Michael Buble. He is one of my guilty pleasures that I have kept secret from most people. But I have to admit that sometimes his songs are just so soothing. Back when I took dance in high school, we would do our tendus so whenever I hear "Home" by MB, it brings back wonderful memories. Here's a little Michael Buble for you all to enjoy now!

1+1 apparently does not equal 2

The other night as I'm enjoying my Honey Flavored (as opposed to my beloved peach flavored) Lipton Pureleaf Iced Tea, I decided to check out the cals on this tasty little number. Now believe me when I say that I am NOT obsessive compulsive when it come to monitoring my calories. Have you witnessed by sweet tooth? If I was at all concerned with the number of calories I consume in one day the first thing I would worry about would be the amount of dessert I eat, rather than the calories on on iced tea. The real reason I was interested is because the other day someone at work mentioned that iced tea has more calories than diet pop. Since I don't drink diet pop, or any pop for that matter unless it's mixed with whiskey or rum, I really had no idea how many calories are in pop. Anyway, I decided to check out the number in my drink for the evening. Upon reading the label I discovered the honey flavored tea has 60 calories per 8 fl. oz. Per bottle, the caloric intake of the drink was 130 calories. So I flip the bottle over to see exactly how many ounces are in the drink and discovered that the bottle is only 16 oz.  60+60 equals 120, not 130. Math has never been, nor will ever be my strongest suit, and I am perfectly ok with that, but I am more than capable with simple addition. I thought perhaps Lipton made a mistake and I thought, wow, someone at headquarters must be hating themselves. However, upon examining the other bottles stocked in my fridge, they all had nutritional facts which did not add up. All I want to know is, where did those extra 10 calories come from? Or in the case of the raspberry flavored tea, how do you lose 10 calories in the second helping? 80 + 80 = 160, not 150!



For those of you wondering, Diet Pepsi has 1 calorie. So I'm sure you're just ingesting numerous chemicals which are probably soo much better for you than simple sugars.

Road Rage

I have road rage. I admit it. So sue me, but other drivers "drive" me nuts. No pun intended. So here's a few ways  to keep me happy on the road:
1. Follow the road rules -- since this seems to be tricky for many, let me clarify...
2. When I am the ONLY car on the road, DO NOT back out of your driveway and cut me off.
3. Then do not preceed to go 10 miles UNDER the speed limit should I be tailgating you. Which, let's face it, you deserve it.
4. In fact, NEVER go for a joy ride and go under the limit. Yes, I understand that some cars are fun to cruise around in, but some people have places to go and I do not enjoy being delayed due to the antics of others.
5. If you're going to turn around at a snails pace, causing me to slow down to 2 mph, don't be surprised if I honk, I mean, blare my horn at you. Horns were installed in cars for a reason and I am not afraid to use mine.
6. I don't give a rats a** if you are from another state. The signs on the road are there for a reason -- to direct you where to go and to b). tell you how fast you should be going. I have even less sympathy for you if you are out of state and driving with a GPS because congratulations, that makes you look even more stupid.
7. Get off the road.

Arms

So here is the picture of my weird elbow trick. Reference April's entry "Domination" for a full explanation. Like I said earlier, don't mind our appearances. We were all on our feet for over 24 hours. FTK.

See the Month of April

So apparently if you start a post, say back in April and just get around to completing it say 4 1/2 months later it gets posted where it would have been posted had someone not forgotten about the post and published it on time. So for my newest post previous to this, refer to the month of April. Also, does anyone (cough Bethany cough) know how to post pictures off of Facebook? Mine won't upload :*(

Welcome to the Season of Buckeyes

Ahh the thing I love most about fall? Buckeye football! Duh. Nothing else symbolizes the arrival of fall to me like the scarlet jerseys of Ohio State. A little bit intense? Maybe. But who doesn't like to feel like they are a part of something? Probably no one and if filling a stadium with 104,000 other rowdy people doesn't do that for a person than I don't know what else does.

Admittedly, this season is much more bittersweet than the previous years. No longer am I on campus and although OSU will always hold a tender place in my heart, it's no longer my home. Yes, waking early to drink with my friends was a big part of gameday, but the excitement and happiness on campus is truly indescribable. I can't help but be flooded with remarkable memories of making friends with random strangers in the Shoe or rushing the field to sing our alma mater with my closest friends at the 50 yard line. OSU has had it's defeat over the years and while it is heartbreaking to walk through campus after a major loss, we bounce back. So no, we are really never truly defeated. Our honor defend, we will fight til the end for O-HI-O! ..........O-H!